that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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