When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize