Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
