Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
