So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My feet surprised me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
