Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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