Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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