also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
