Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
