I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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