First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
