Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
