oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize