dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
