But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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