i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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