Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
