Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
