I'm eating all of the evidence.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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