Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
