Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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