just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
