I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my fart just growled at me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
