John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize