It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
