the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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