I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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