Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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