New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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