Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
