dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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