Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I got her a Nickelback box set.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
