He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
