I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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