Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
