Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
