so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
