What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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