We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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