____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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