her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening