Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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  (303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund. http://tfl.nu/xrnk
  Replies (163) Good night (31966) Bad night (1988)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  where are my pants?

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm

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  (219): where are my pants? (1-219): you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm http://tfl.nu/h936
  Replies (14) Good night (4805) Bad night (634)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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  (913): he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying. http://tfl.nu/sfs9
  Replies (18) Good night (1574) Bad night (4260)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

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  (316): She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar.... http://tfl.nu/1ee9
  Replies (15) Good night (1063) Bad night (5075)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.

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  (484): we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed. http://tfl.nu/819f
  Replies (26) Good night (11113) Bad night (1058)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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  (414): Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover. http://tfl.nu/mgun
  Replies (4) Good night (2974) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

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  (707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812
  Replies (22) Good night (1371) Bad night (4760)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

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  (519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/srza
  Replies (10) Good night (5057) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person. http://tfl.nu/v0my
  Replies (12) Good night (4074) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2470) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina

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  (518): His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina http://tfl.nu/49ay
  Replies (10) Good night (1192) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.

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  (830): we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked. http://tfl.nu/50u7
  Replies (8) Good night (2270) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

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  (303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o
  Replies (19) Good night (2103) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk

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  (908): if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk http://tfl.nu/13sw
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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  (407): i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka http://tfl.nu/95pf
  Replies (4) Good night (275) Bad night (576)

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