Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.