I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This baby is an asshole
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.