Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection

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  (734): Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection http://tfl.nu/jo45
  Replies (6) Good night (639) Bad night (893)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.

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  (484): I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/prts
  Replies (15) Good night (4943) Bad night (1301)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.

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  (647): there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper. http://tfl.nu/yyzx
  Replies (14) Good night (6220) Bad night (965)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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  (321): Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever. http://tfl.nu/nab2
  Replies (10) Good night (2900) Bad night (777)
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  (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

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  (562): Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser http://tfl.nu/nnjn
  Replies (3) Good night (2263) Bad night (898)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (923) Bad night (2867)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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  (250): I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk. http://tfl.nu/fti6
  Replies (9) Good night (2975) Bad night (839)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?

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  (651): Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/kwwo
  Replies (5) Good night (1469) Bad night (576)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (398)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.

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  (402): I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives. http://tfl.nu/3h74
  Replies (6) Good night (1520) Bad night (448)
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  (707): View more from California

  Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.

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  (707): Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish. http://tfl.nu/itg6
  Replies (4) Good night (1603) Bad night (400)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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  (845): I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this. http://tfl.nu/z7id
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (264)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.

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  (314): I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed. http://tfl.nu/a0tv
  Replies (5) Good night (1092) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been sober in 4 days.

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  Then be sober

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No.

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  (224): I haven't been sober in 4 days. (1-224): Then be sober (224): No. http://tfl.nu/ylow
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?

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  (803): If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away? http://tfl.nu/9eig
  Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (190)

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