The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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