Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
