I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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