Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
