I'd wear matching sweaters with you
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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