You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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