just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
