Sry I called you an 8
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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