So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
