All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
