i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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