Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize