I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
