We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
