hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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