McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
