whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
