dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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