Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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