But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
