Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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