You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
