the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
