The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
